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The ' preach social justice, and teach women's rights through abortion. The main stream media preaches the evils of Judaeo-Christianity and illuminates the masses of the new American sins of homophobia and Islamophobia. Popular culture preaches promiscuity and immediate gratification. Catholic progressives, and sheepishly silent bishops, preach the Jesus of , while remaining eerily silent as the new Rome burns. oakley outlet online An emphasis on self-esteem turns up in much of the research in child development and in material written for parents. Often what is written cuts two ways: Parents are supposed to make children feel good about themselves but have also been taken to task for praising children too readily and failing to enable children to develop a realistic appraisal of their abilities.Recent research supposedly shows that unconditional self-esteem is most valuable of all � having a belief in one�s worth even in the face of making mistakes or falling short. The idea is that if children feel they are loved only for their achievement or for behavior that meets parental approval, they do not develop that inner feeling of self-worth. But parental approval and love are, in fact, major motivators in children giving up early pleasures for more mature behavior and for achieving success in valued activities. If unconditional love is interpreted to mean that children should be praised or rewarded no matter what they do, the result becomes a failure to set any standards. What does unconditional love really mean? Parents often seek to reassure children that they are loved even when parents get angry or disapprove of their behavior. Are such statements meaningful or do children experience disapproval as the loss of love? Even adults may experience the anger or disapproval of someone significant to them as a loss of love, which actually it is at that moment. The question really is whether being the recipient of that anger or disapproval leaves one feeling worthless. Can we help children feel secure enough about their worth to withstand moments of anger or disapproval from those on whom they depend? The answer to that has to be yes � because it is not possible to raise children without at times expressing anger, or disapproval of their behavior. Previously, I wrote that parental self-esteem is the most significant ingredient in helping children�s sense of self-worth. Too often the judgments we make of our children�s behavior reflect feelings we may have about ourselves. The disappointment we may feel in their achievements may express some disappointment in ourselves. Besides, the feedback we get from our children is not always the most reliable measure of our success as parents. Raising children means that they are not completely free to do as they please or to have everything they might want. That means they in turn will have times of anger toward us or tell us what terrible parents we are. It is then we then need to believe in our own self-worth and ability as parents so that we can withstand the temporary withdrawal of our children�s love.Another test of our own self-esteem is whether we are able to see our children as different from ourselves and value who they are despite those differences. Do we need to see our own reflection in them only when it is positive and reject anything that seems to speak to something we feel negatively about in ourselves? Can we recognize and value their strengths even when they are not those we share � or hoped for in them?Page 2 of 2 - It is our self-esteem as parents that enable us to know that neither we nor our children are perfect. We will make mistakes just as our children do. If we don�t judge ourselves harshly, we won�t judge our children harshly. Authenticity means having values, knowing what they are and holding ourselves to the same standard we hold our children. It is this that children recognize and it is from this that they draw their own feelings of self-worth. Elaine Heffner, LCSW, Ed.D., has written for Parents Magazine, Fox.com, Redbook, Disney online and PBS Parents, as well as other publications. She has appeared on PBS, ABC, Fox TV and other networks. Dr. Heffner is the author of �Goodenoughmothering: the Best of the Blog,� as well as �Mothering: the Emotional Experience of Motherhood after Freud and Feminism.� She is a psychotherapist and parent educator in private practice, as well as a senior lecturer of education in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. Dr. Heffner was a co-founder and served as director of the Nursery School Treatment Center at Payne Whitney Clinic, New York Hospital. 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But the nurse practitioner (NP), who also has a master�s in counseling and a docorate in health and human services, also takes a 360-degree approach to patient care. �NPs usually try to spend more time with patients to diagnose and treat complaints,� she says. fake oakley sunglasses During a phone call with him on Thursday, I acknowledged to him that I had changed my mind, De Carolis said. Despite my sincere want for Craig to be successful at Oregon State, as the days moved on since March, it became clear to me that wanting it to work with Craig as our coach was not good enough. Oregon State University, our student-athletes and our loyal supporters deserve more than a simple desire. They deserve success. cheap glasses Jarrod Wallace will partner Josh McGuire in the front row. t discount oakley sunglasses Second-ranked Western went 4-0 against the Vaqueras, defeating Austin 9-8 and 5-4 in 11 innings on March 20 in Yuma and McLaughlin 6-0 and 13-0 on April 29 at CAC. wholesale ray bans Republican donors and fund-raisers who are ready � almost eager � to back Jeb Bush if the former Florida governor decides to run for president have also offered hope to Chris Christie, saying this week there is still an outside chance they may back him in 2016 should he manage to win the presidency.�I would never say never, and I don�t think Chris should, either,� said Lawrence E. Bathgate II, a former finance chairman of the Republican National Committee and a major donor in New Jersey.�I like to keep an open mind,� he said, �What we�re saying to Christie is that if he wants to get our attention, he has to show us something. And I am just speaking for myself here, but if he wins the race, that might be enough to convince me to take a second look.�David V. Hedley, a former Wall Street executive and Republican fund-raiser in New Jersey and, like Mr. Bathgate, one of the few Republican donors who would speak on the record on the topic, said he also might be swayed into a rethink by a Christie victory.�It�s tough right now for me to imagine backing Christie even if he wins,� Mr. Hedley admitted, �but I would have to consider it, I guess.�And Christine Todd Whitman, a former Republican governor of New Jersey, put it this way: �It would be awkward. It would be very awkward not to back Mr. Christie if he won. But I�ve done some awkward things before. And if it came to that, if Mr. Christie is elected president, I could imagine a scenario where I might back him.�Many of those who are weighing the possibility of backing Mr. Christie in his bid should he be elected president say the New Jersey governor�s recent troubles, especially the George Washington Bridge scandal, wouldn�t necessarily prevent them throwing their support behind a victorious Mr. Christie. They reason that their ties to New Jersey and its governor � and Mr. Christie�s victory at the polls � would offer some political cover. But there is a growing sense that any backing of Mr. Christie, even if he makes it to the Oval Office, is fraught with political risk.Nowhere is the consternation greater than among the hundreds of top donors and so-called bundlers who cut their teeth on Bush family political campaigns. If Mr. Bush runs and loses, they must choose between bucking their ties to the first family of Republican politics or throwing their support behind a victorious Mr. Christie, who apparently does not take well to triumph or defeat.�Those of us that have been dedicated to the Bush family for years would obviously have to take a Christie candidacy into consideration if the New Jersey governor is elected to the White House,� said Fred S. Zeidman, a Texas businessman and top fund-raiser for George W. Bush�s two presidential campaigns who has helped introduce Mr. Christie to potential supporters in his state.Page 2 of 2 - The presidential chatter is �irrelevant to us,� said William J. Palatucci, Mr. Christie�s top adviser and a former law partner. �You know it�s out there, but it�s just not part of our conversation. We�re here to win votes, not the attention of big donors.�Still, Mr. Palatucci did say the New Jersey governor � who has taken up painting in his spare time - was heartened by the remarks of big donors who seemed to be indicating that even if they abandon Mr. Christie for Mr. Bush there is still a possibility they may return to support Mr. Christie down the line should he be elected president.�That�s all we�ve ever asked for from the beginning, to be treated like everybody else. We realize Jeb Bush is royalty and we can live with that,� Mr. Palatucci said.Until Mr. Bush emerged as a potential 2016 contender, many donors had been resigned to the idea that their only real alternative was to support Mr. Christie.But as Mr. Bush�s public flirtation with a White House bid has intensified, so has the impression among these donors that they may not have to throw their support behind Mr. Christie after all.Many donors, however, are insisting that Mr. Christie is still in the mix and that many in the Republican establishment are growing more comfortable with the sometime confrontational New Jersey governor.�They feel a lot better about Christie,� said Barry Wynn, a fund-raiser for George W. Bush and a former chairman of the Republican Party in South Carolina. �Especially now that there may only be a distant possibility that they will have to support him.�Philip Maddocks writes a weekly satirical column. He can be reached at pmaddocks@wickedlocal.com. 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